Everyone is walking on their own path. This life is a journey. An adventure into finding our purpose to where we fit. Sometimes we get stuck there, trying to find the meaning behind everything we experience. Sometimes it's hard to not focus on one event and easy to miss the lesson that has been taught. I believe we are all on our own journeys, going through our own things. I believe people come to us as a reminder or a lesson. To keep us on track or maybe push us off to remind us where we are going. 

That's how I feel about my last relationship. I needed him. He showed me a lot of things that I was holding onto and helped me let go of them. The huge relief I feel is overwhelming to me. I have been processing and letting go of all I was holding onto with him. 

From that experience, I learned everyone is going through their own journey and I have no right to judge the path they take.

I was speaking to my friend the other day and she had mentioned her guides. She was speaking in terms of her guides bringing experiences to her for her to learn something. I love this concept that she shared with me. While she meant it as something spiritual, I resonate with that on a physical level. I think that other people are my guides, brought into my life to help me become who I am meant to be. I know that not everyone can relate and that is okay. It is more of a theory that I enjoy exploring. As I have mentioned in this post, we are all on our own journey. My journey will not look the same as yours. I do believe though that we are all heading towards the same place. And maybe that same place is becoming comfortable with our own death and the death around us. Yep, I went there.  

The more I experience, the less impact negative events have on me. The more I think everything will be fine. Life moves on and the world keeps going. The relationship that didn't work out, the friend that I lost, they don't seem to matter too much anymore. Mostly because there is always another relationship I can build or another friendship I can make. That relationship with my friend or boyfriend wasn't bringing any positivity to my life anymore and letting go of that is very freeing to me. That doesn't mean that I don't miss them from time to time, just means that there is something or someone else on my journey waiting for me. That relationship leaving me is making room for the one that I will run into as I continue my journey.

What I want to do is be patient with people and understand that they are currently walking on their path. Sometimes a tree falls on the trail and we need to get past it. Whatever way they take to get over that fallen tree is not my place to judge. I cannot make the moves to get over that for them. The only person who can get over that tree is the one trying to pass it. I can try to guide and tell them what worked for me but in the end, it is up to them to make the moves. I cannot change someone's mindset or viewpoint, I can only express how I have changed mine. I want to make sure that I look at everyone in the same light and I want to make sure that I am not judging them for what they are going through or who they are choosing to be at this moment. I want to take this in terms of Casey, my past relationship. I looked at the fork in my road from when he left and I realized I had two options to choose from. 

One path was holding resentment and being angry at him. 

The other path is looking at my experience with him and realizing he was a fallen tree that I needed to find a way to get over. I tried getting over that tree for a couple years and now I feel like I finally have. He came into my life to remind me of where I am heading and how I want to get there. 

I am really proud of my self for this experience. In the past, I allowed certain people to keep me in a certain mindset full of negativity and control. This time I knew who I was and who I want to be. That no one has the power to tell me who I am or what I am lacking. I am the one who chooses who I am and who I want to be, no one else. And maybe my version of a good person is different from someone else's and that's okay. We will not all agree with each other all the time, there is someone who is going to feel differently than I do and have opposing opinions and that doesn't make their opinion any less valid than mine. It means that I am here to appreciate their opinions just like they should appreciate mine. We are all different and I can't make someone into the same person I am and do not want to make anyone change who they are. 

As for my experience with this man, I would like to say thank you. Thank you for bringing to light that I have the strength in me to be myself because in the past I changed for you. Thank you for reminding me of the type of love I am looking for and showing me that you were not it. Thank you for all the lessons you taught me and helping me let go by showing me who you truly are in these moments with me. Thank you for reminding me that I am a great partner, just not great for your current toxic love. And most of all I would like to thank you for the way that you reminded me that I am worth every ounce of the happiness and love that I will experience from someone who will love me exactly as I am. At one point in my life, I didn't think I was deserving of much. Being with you again reminded me that I am deserving of so much more than what you were putting me through. I am worth every ounce of happiness I will have with the partner that I belong with. 

My hope for you is that you get past your fallen tree. That you realize you are worth so much more than the pain you put yourself through. That you realize one day that you are an amazing person full of light. You have enough light in yourself to blind all that negativity that is surrounding you. All you have to do is get past the shade from that tree. 

Thank you for coming into my life again so that I could let you go and see the sunshine that my path has waiting for me. 

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