Your Loss

Written By Julia Barrett

The truth of the matter is… I lowered my standards for you. 

When we met, I was in such a dark and lonely vulnerable place. I was seeking guidance. I was seeking care. I could not care for myself at that time so I lowered my standards of care and expectations to be with you. 

But I am a high value person, and when you left me, it hurt my soul… Because I thought the darkness all around us could be fixed with love and care, and you thought the darkness around us could be strategically avoided by cutting it out like a tumor… But tumors grow back. Your darkness was not eradicated: The love I had for you was.

I want to thank you for inadvertently setting me free. It opened my eyes… and although it is painful, yes.… It also made me see clearly how much I needed to take care of myself, to heal my wounds, and to build back up the bad bitch I really am on the inside. I want to truly thank you for that.

I am a caregiver… But not to those who take. I am not able to help those who won’t help themselves. I am unable to fix others wounds. Or to bring your emotional maturity up from its five-year-old state of being… All I can do is control my own actions, work on myself, hope for the best, and except nothing less.

I want to thank you because you have made me realize I can love again, not only myself, but I am capable of fully loving someone else… And although it is and will be hard to let the love I had for you and your family and your friends and the potential for our future go … I know it will be so worth it when I put that love into myself, my community, my soulmate (whoever they are and whenever they come into my life), and my future… Because those things will truly fulfill me… No potentials or empty promises needed. 

This was your loss, not mine.

Julia Barrett

If you’ve ever wondered what happens when paint, passion, and a dash of rebellion collide—you get Jules. Based in Columbus, Ohio, she’s an artist who refuses to color inside the lines (unless she’s decided the lines are useful that day). Her work ranges from oil painting and sculpture to murals, textiles, and digital creations, all exploring the beautifully messy themes of identity, bodies, and social justice. Basically, if it makes people pause, question, or laugh a little nervously—she’s nailed it.

When Jules isn’t making art that speaks louder than words, one of the things she enjoys doing is finding her balance (literally) at Discovering Tara yoga studio. She is an important part of the Discovering Tara yoga studio and we’ve been dying to share some of her words! Yoga, for her, is less about perfect poses and more about grounding herself before jumping headfirst into her creative whirlwind.

Now, she’s adding blog posts to her brushstrokes—sharing her reflections, musings, and bursts of creative energy on the Discovering Tara blog. Expect honesty, a splash of humor, and maybe even a behind-the-scenes peek at what it’s like that makes Jules her. That’s equal parts healing, disruptive to our societal norms, and beautifully human.

https://www.jlbart.com/
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