Patience Series - Hiking

Most days when I go on a hike I am fast paced. Guiding myself into a steady moving meditation. Repeating my mantra, breath in “I love myself” breath out “Thank you” over and over. Falling into my mind, moving through aimlessly. Hardly do I take the time to simply breathe in the air. To really look at my surroundings. That is why I have taken such a liking to photography. Photography forces me to look around and not only admire the beauty that I see, but also capture the frame in a way that portrays that beauty. Today I do not have my camera. Just the thought of my patience series. Bringing myself to walk differently, to walk with patience.

I see Ezra, my dog, running, while a part of her must catch on to my slower pace. She stops more frequently. To look back at me or out over the river next to us. I take a moment to look around. To see the green of the budding bushes and trees, the small purple and white flowers that cover the areas of the ground left untouched. I smell the flowers on the trees, feel the give from the earth, so different from the concrete I normally walk on. As I walk, I stride a little slower than usual. I bring awareness to my core, make sure my muscles are engaged yet relaxing them at the same time. I bring awareness to my glutes to help me as I walk uphill. Really taking the time to feel into my body.

Normally when I walk, I get lost in thought. Today I want to get lost in my body. To feel which muscles are working and when. Trauma is a funny thing. It can make us disassociate, forget the parts of our bodies that have been hurt. Yoga helps bring awareness to those areas. Helps us feel into the parts we have either consciously or subconsciously ignored.

The glutes, hips, shoulders, and neck are the main areas where emotions get stored. Diverting our attention from those spaces helps us forget those emotions.

So, what happens when we start to bring awareness to those parts again? What happens when we stretch out those areas or work them out? We slowly let go. Slowly release the parts that no longer serve us. Sometimes releasing those emotions takes time and multiple practices. Today, I am working on my strengths in those areas. Which each step I take I breathe in, I stop the mantra and just appreciate what my body is doing, how it is carrying me, and I recognize it doesn’t always hold strong like this. So why do I hold my emotions in and think that I need to be strong all the time? I take a deep breath in, slow down my pace, and realize that I don’t need to run. There isn’t anything I am running from. Not anymore.

As I slow down my pace and bring awareness to my body, I feel the stillness that slow walking brings. I enjoy the peace I feel. At the end of the day, no matter how hard I work I am left with just me. There is no running away from that. And then when I slow down even more, I get to enjoy this life I am living. I get to recognize that I quite like where I am and that there is no reason to run. When I find this space to slow down, I see I really like the life I have been given and created.

So, this journey of finding patience and my slow walking stride brings awareness to the joy I feel. That I don’t want my life to feel rushed. I don’t want to just go from point A to point B blindly following areas that aren’t beautiful to me just to check off a box. I want to slow down and enjoy the moments of the things that are meaningful. This hike, my work, yoga, all the above. To slowly move through them, to enjoy each and every step along the way.