Perspective

Laying down on the living room floor, looking out the window up at the sky. I see the clouds move rather quickly and the bright blue behind them. Just staring, appreciating this moment for all that it is. In an airplane, gazing out the window, standing in front of the ocean, seeing the mountains. My life seems so small in those moments. The perspective is really brought to light. I wonder, what makes our worlds get so small in our day to day lives?

Why is it that the small things seem like such a big deal when we are home, in our comfort zone? I want to look for ways to feel so insignificant like I do when I am looking at the mountains or standing in front of the ocean. I want to find the moments where the earth takes over my perspective and really just sit in that moment. Take away the sense of self. Not always, just temporarily each day. Helps me see all the moments I am grateful for, this life I feel happy to be apart of.

From a young age I found peace with the earth. I think about how grateful I am for the moments my mom and dad have shared their love for this planet with me. I think about my father taking me on my first backpacking trip. When I saw my first summit. I think about how I feel asleep on that trip at 7pm. Not knowing what to do since we couldn’t have a fire. I didn’t know how to just be in that moment. I didn’t see the purpose and how much joy I would get from just sitting in that moment. How to just enjoy not having a constant dopamine release. I think about how I almost killed my dad that trip. Hiking to the summit of the mountain, to hike back to camp, pack up, and head out. A planned three day trip turned into one night. I was learning how to exist. Learning how to take up space. Learning how to just be present.

How many of us don’t know what its like to just be in our moment? So overwhelmed with the next minor inconvenience to our lives. Looking for anything to go wrong so that they have something to complain about. Whether that be the outlet that someone forgot to reattach in a new apartment after painting or a cucumber end a roommate leaves out. Constantly looking for something to be mad about. We blame our past, we blame external situations, not realizing that the only source of our frustration is the outlook we have chosen. We may not have a choice on everything that happens to us. We do have a choice on our perspective. We have the choice to decide to heal. When the choice has been made to complain and project, go see the mountains.

When is that we learn perspective? When do we figure out the problems we have, are ones someone else would die for.

I will look for things each day that feel bigger than myself. Not physically bigger, but something that is connected in ways bigger than my world. Like root systems in plants. That is something bigger than me. Like the loving connection between a child and their parent. How humans and animals learn to communicate with other without ever knowing how to speak the exact same language. It doesn’t take much to find things that are bigger than myself. It also doesn’t have to be extravagant. The something bigger can be small, as contradictory as that may sound.

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